Thanks for the info Frank,
I'll have to see if there is a chapter near Green Bay, It sounds like something I would like to be a part of too. My kids are grown up now and on their own.

I was the youngest of 10 kids, my dad was pretty rough and had it down pat by the time I grew up. He knew how to get away with too much. I have to admit thou, I think it made me a better parent. I was still tough at times, but I never hit or belittled them. We talked about everything and there were punishments for breaking the rules, but normally being grounded or loosing an allowance, or having their privileges taken away, like friends over and phone being taken away.

Again, Thanks Frank! U still da man!!!

Thanks... For the way I was raised, I am like you, DO: I am a good father. I am strict at times, and even tough, but I'm always fair and the most my daughter has ever received, is a single swat on the backside for open defiance, or deliberate disrespect. Other than that, I'm easygoing, and yeah, I'm always careful to talk things over with her before and after discipline is meted out. The most important thing, is that she knows she is loved and that I am proud of her.

My oldest daughter now has 4 of her own, two girls and two boys. I know she is tough with them too, but I think she is doing a good job.

I do remember having fun with them in a tough way a few times, but it was fun for all of us. My oldest daughter wanted to swap punches one day in the kitchen (arm shots) and I have to tell you, I'm glad I took it easy on her when she was little, because she throws one hell of a punch now! Her old man better behave himself!!

Thanks for the link.

Heh.... The key, I think, is balance. Discipline, fun, laughter, work, encouragement, and love. These are the things that show our children what it is to be a well-rounded and well-adjusted individual. When that balance gets skewed, where parents try to be their child's buddy and friend, or they go the other way and become an abusive ogre, then imbalanced children are the result. (I'm sort of putting this theory together, as I'm typing it out...)

Give me ten minutes with my daughter, and that theory will go right out the window, along with many hundreds of others...

I have seen quite a few flyer's around advertising their runs, must be pretty popular here in TN.

there is a difference between discipline and abuse, my parents whooped me, but i knew that they loved me, and i got some beatings that were rough, but the punishment fit the bill for what i had done, but mental abuse is just as bad if not worse, thank god my parenst didnt do that to much, they were strict and expected me to be responsible for my actions, tough love sometimes, baut at the age of 53, i thank them for every whooping they give me,in the south, my parents got married at the age of 14 + 15, when i was born they were 16 & 17, just kids, my daddy was and still is a tough person, they loaded pulpwood on their shoulders for a living, he finally went back to school to become a forester, but he taught me how to cuss, drink, smoke & chew, he didnt think it was a problem untill they kicked me out of kindergarten foe telling the teacher to go ---- herself, because i couldnt light a cig, ( not Kidding ), blood ran down my legs after daddy whooped me with a wire coathanger, but i never cussed at school again untill i plated football in highschool,

No offense Carter, but whoopin anybody with a coathanger until they bleed is abuse...IMHO...

I was raised by an Alcoholic , abusive , STEP father........need I say more? I don't tolerate adults abusing kids.......Mom got after me with the belt when I needed it , but I Knew she Loved me.

Frank , if that's your way of giving back , then by all means...... BB

Big Bear wrote:
I was raised by an Alcoholic , abusive , STEP father........need I say more? I don't tolerate adults abusing kids.......Mom got after me with the belt when I needed it , but I Knew she Loved me.

Frank , if that's your way of giving back , then by all means...... BB

That's exactly it, man. Just giving back... I've learned that the way to overcome any of the negative crap that life dishes out, is to take whatever compassion and wisdom I can from the situation, and then let the rest go. From there, using it to help others, and in this way, no matter what life throws at me, I will always come out on top; not merely surviving, but thriving!

I'm sorry you went through the violence that you did. It's awful, and no child should ever ever go through that kind of hell.