hee-hee.. good one Kai..

A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."


A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"


A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after confessing to an affair with a girl is told by the priest that he can't be forgiven unless he reveals who the girl is. "I promised not to tell!" he says. "Was it Mary Patricia, the butcher's daughter?" the preist asks. "No, and I said I wouldn't tell." "Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer's daughter?" "No, and I still won't tell!" 'Was it Mary Francis, the baker's daughter?" "No," says the boy. 'Well, son," says the priest, "I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months." Outside, the boy's friends ask what happened. "Well," he says, "I got six months, and three good leads."

A Montana senior citizen drove his brand new Roadstar out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing, " he thought as he flew down I-90, Twisting the throttle even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Montana State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He gunned it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this! "and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Roadstar. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."
The old gentleman then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Montana State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

Nice. I like that one

OMG this is pretty funny!!!

kaisayson wrote:
OMG this is pretty funny!!!


+1 :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

Kai...That's killer!!!

Bushman52 wrote:
Kai...That's killer!!!


+ 2

LMAO, thats a classic!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell us if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies," It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into."
Now wipe that smile off your face,