had apes for years an all of sudden my elbows are hurting when I'm maneuvering the bike at crawling speeds
so I went to the drug store to get some medicine for my elbow
when I get there I see a machine... says "computerized diagnosis for whatever ails you".
the instructions say insert five dollars and submit urine specimen
So I put in five bucks, pee in the cup, pour in the machine and bells start dinging and lights start flashing and a piece of paper comes out.
It says... "You are in perfect health except for a slight case of tennis elbow.
I'm thinking this is a scam, so I went home and had the wife pee in the cup, had my daughter pee in the cup, had my dog pee in the cup and just for good measure I jerked off in the cup.
I bring the cup back to the drug store, put five bucks in the machine and pour in the cup.
Bells start dinging, lights start flashing, and a piece of paper comes out.
I read it and it says "Your wife has aids, your daughter is pregnant, your dog is the father, and if you don't stop jerkin off you will NEVER get rid of that tennis elbow!"