A fireman is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl riding down the sidewalk in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fireman walks out to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," he says admiringly. "Thanks, Mister Fireman," the girl says. The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner,"
the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, "I think you could go faster."
The little girl replies sweetly, "You're probably right, but then I
wouldn't have a siren."

It's Sunday about 2 in the morning. It's raining real hard outside and there is a knock at the front door.
The wife hears it and wakes her husband. He goes to the door and there is a drunk guy standing there.
He says, "I need a push". The husband gets mad and tells him its Sunday night and I have to work in the morning and slams the door.
He goes back to bed. The wife asks who it was and he says, "Some drunk needing a push" Did you help him?
No, I have to work in the morning. She reminds him of the time they had car trouble and the nice bikers helped them. Don't you think you should pass on the favor?
Alright he says, and gets dressed. He goes out into the rainstorm and yells, You still out there? Yesh, comes the reply.
You still need a push? Yesh... Where are you?

I'm over here............on your swing........

A husband and wife are talking and yes they do talk..
the husband says to the wife I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.
The wife thinks a moment and says...





your dick is bigger than your brothers.

I think the original Joke thread is full... or, some one told "the best joke ever" and it killed the thread!

So, I started a new joke thread (Click Here)
If you like, you can call it part daux!

Or: Part Doh!


(Homer Simpson)

Got a good laugh out of that one!

How do you put out a Kotex fire?


Tapon it,

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't think my pet python weally gives a thit."

I had one once,,, they don't...

Little Johnnie's teacher calls on him for a math quiz question.
Teacher: Johnnie, there are 5 birds on a telephone wire. A man shoots one off. How many are left?
Johnnie: OK a man shoots a gun. The gun is loud. So all the birds would fly away. I'd say there are no birds left!
Teacher: Johnnie, the correct answer is 4, but I like the way you're thinking!

Johnnie: Teacher now I've got a question for you. There are 3 woman sitting on a park bench all eating ice cream cones. One is licking at the tip, the other is licking around the bottom. And the third has the ice cream all the way in her mouth down to the cone. Now which woman is married?
Teacher: While blushing says - well I guess the one with the ice cream in her mouth to the cone!
Johnnie: No teacher the correct answer is the one wearing a wedding ring - but I like the way you're thinking!