Man and his wife were out playing golf, one afternoon. The woman loses her ball and when she finds it, it's laying in a patch of buttercups. She gives it a vicious slice, sending it back to the fairway, but sending mangled buttercups flying every which way.

Suddenly, at her shoulder, an angry fairy appears: "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like what you've done to my buttercups! From this day hence, you will be unable to abide the taste of butter!" And with that, she disappeared.

The woman, quite shaken by the encounter, makes her way back to the fairway and sees her husband casting about near a water trap. "Did you lose your ball?!" she called.

"I found it!! he replied. "It's right here in this patch of pussywillows!"

The woman began sprinting towards him screaming, "DON'T HIT IT!!!! DON'T HIT IT!!!!"

Whitetail wrote:
The absolute best Little Johnnie joke...


You are right... I still have tears in my eyes!

that's funny..

An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her.

"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."

"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."

"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals, so you should have your husband check that, too."

"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check both when I get home."

True to her word, when the Amish lady got home she told her husband about the broken reflector, and he said he would put a new one on it immediately.

"Also," said the Amish woman, "The policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake."

Ed was in trouble . He forgot his wedding anniversary .His wife was really angry. She told him, 'Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough, there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.

Yeeeoowwww that's good...

A woman walks onto an elvator and as soon as the doors are closed she sneezes...
After she sneezes, she takes out some tissues and cleans her... ahem, "private" area.
A man in the elvator is shocked by what he's just seen and asks the woman, "are you all right?"
The woman appologises and explains, "Oh, I'm sorry, but every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm..."
So, the man asks... "Are you taking anything for that?"
To which, the woman replies... "Oh yes..."
Courious, the man asks, "Oh, really, what would that be?"
And, the woman replies... "Pepper!"

The jokes here have gone down hill................










































Yes , I'm aware I'm no fun. BB

Shoot I had a joke and I can't get it uploaded...lol. Thats not funny....

Big Bear wrote:
The jokes here have gone down hill................









































Yes , I'm aware I'm no fun. BB
I agree....

Steven