Mythbusters did a segment on the firing chickens (thawn and frozen) at airplane windshields. Did you see it?

Doc

No didn't see that one .I have seen that show before but I am not a regular...should be easier to get in that kinda mode since I have retired and no longer doing the crazy hours I was working ....Coug

So this guy goes into a bar, and asks the bartender for a shot and a beer. The bartender slides him a beer, pours the shot, and sets a bowl of peanuts next to him. Asks if he needs anything else. The man says "no, thanks" and the bartender goes back to his cleaning and tidying up.

He takes a drink and hears a voice "hey good looking". He turns around but noone is there. Thinks maybe he is hearing things and takes another drink..."Hey Sexy!" He whips around again, noone.

Now he thinks his lonely imagination has got the best of him, or a TV was on...he looks...nothing. HHHmmmmmmm. He picks up his shot, and puts it to his mouth...no voices. he looks around, noone. Takes the shot and hears "You've been working out, haven't you?!"

Now, he is looking all over, under the bar, ceiling...he knows there is a speaker hidden and someone is playing a joke. The bartender walks over, asks him what is wrong and he explains the situation. The bartender smiles, looks down and says


























Its the peanuts, they're complementary

A guy who has lost an arm is depressed about it and decides to end it all. He goes up to the tenth story of a building and as he is about to jump out of the window he happens to see a guy down on the sidewalk who has no arms. The guy is jumping around and dancing so he decides instead of committing suicide he will go down and talk to the guy. He gets down there and says to the guy, "you know I was very depressed and suicidal about having lost an arm but when I saw you down here with no arms and so happy you were dancing, it inspired me". "Happy hell", the guy says, "I got jockey itch".

Jason19 wrote:
So this guy goes into a bar, and asks the bartender for a shot and a beer. The bartender slides him a beer, pours the shot, and sets a bowl of peanuts next to him. Asks if he needs anything else. The man says "no, thanks" and the bartender goes back to his cleaning and tidying up.

He takes a drink and hears a voice "hey good looking". He turns around but noone is there. Thinks maybe he is hearing things and takes another drink..."Hey Sexy!" He whips around again, noone.

Now he thinks his lonely imagination has got the best of him, or a TV was on...he looks...nothing. HHHmmmmmmm. He picks up his shot, and puts it to his mouth...no voices. he looks around, noone. Takes the shot and hears "You've been working out, haven't you?!"

Now, he is looking all over, under the bar, ceiling...he knows there is a speaker hidden and someone is playing a joke. The bartender walks over, asks him what is wrong and he explains the situation. The bartender smiles, looks down and says


























Its the peanuts, they're complementary

That's almost as good as:::

Three guys walk in a bar.....the fourth one ducks!

A horse goes into a bar , the bartender looks around and see the horse and says he fella






















Why the long face ???

a duck orders a drink and says.........
















put it on my bill!

Thanks for clearing that up for me...

So a string walks into a bar, climbs up on the bar and tries to order a drink.
The bartender says "hey, we don't serve alcohol to strings".

The string sits for a minute, then tries to order a drink. The bartenders says "listen, I already told you we don't serve strings, so get!"

He waits, then asks for a drink again. This time the bartender picks up the string, and hangs it out the window, and drops it. "I told ya twice, I don't serve strings! Now stay out!!"



The string collects himself, wipes off, and makes his way around to the front of the bar. He looks in. Noone is looking. He walks in, and goes into the corner. He quickly ties himself in a knot, and messes up his hair. He shakes and rolls on the floor. He looks different.

He makes his way to the bar again, crawls up, and attempts to order a drink. The bartender turns around, turns red, and yells "Arent you the string I JUST threw out of here?!?!?"






"I'm a frayed knot" was the reply..

An old pirate limps into a pub with a ship's helm hanging out of his pants. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy! Didja' know you've got a steering wheel hangin' outta' your zipper? The pirate growls, "Yarrr.... It's drivin' me nuts!"