Well, then post up some jokes, instead of grumbling like old women.

Gunhead wrote:
Well, then post up some jokes, instead of grumbling like old women.

What Steven and BB are referring to is we try to keep the content of the Clinic at no more than a PG-13 level. Thanks for understanding.

Okay... Did I post something inappropriate? If so, I'll edit it.

Not at all, just trying to remind folks not to go too far. Remember, this site is open to the world and our members read with their spouses and kids looking over their shoulders.

Gunhead wrote:
Well, then post up some jokes, instead of grumbling like old women.

OK...
Billy Bob's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine and your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew."

and here...
Two Georgia football players are taking a college exam. If they fail they will not be allowed to play in next week's big game.

The exam is fill-in-the-blank. The last question reads, "Old MacDonald had a ______."

Well, Bubba is stumped. He has no idea what the answer might be. He knows he needs to get this one right to be sure he passes. So, Bubba looks around to make sure the professor isn't watching and then taps Jethro on the shoulder. "Psst! Jethro. What's the answer to the last question?"

Jethro laughs. He looks around to make sure they isn’t watchin and then Jethro turns to Bubba and says, "Bubba, man you're so stupid. Everybody knows that Old MacDonald had a farm."

"Ohhhh," says Bubba. "I remember." So, Bubba starts filling in the blank, but stops. He again reaches over and taps Jethro’s shoulder and whispers, "Hey, how do you spell farm?"

"Man Bubba, you really are brainless. Duh? That's EASY! Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

again...
a man yells in the woods and no woman hears him, is he
still wrong?

still more...
A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, "Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?"

And the man says, "Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off."

Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished.

He called the man's wife and said, "I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?"

And she says, "That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!"

i'm catching up..

Once there was a man who loved baked beans. He would eat up to 5 and sometimes 6 plates at a time, but that always be followed with smelly, loud, stinky gas.
One day he met a beautiful lady and decided to talk to her. They started seeing each other.
Since he did not want her to smell his nasty gas after eating beans, he made the sacrifice, and stopped eating them. One year later they were married.
On his birthday, the next year, he was coming home from work, when suddenly his car broke down.
He called his wife to tell her what had happened, and also to let her know that he would be home a little late. She said she understood, but to hurry, because she had a surprise for him.
On his way he saw a diner and smelled baked beans cooking inside. Since he had to walk 6 miles to get home, he figured that by the time he got there all the smelly gas would be gone.
He went in and ate 7 bowls of baked beans. On his way back home, he was farting nasty and smelly
gas.
Finally he got home and on the door his wife had hung a blind fold for him to wear, so he
wouldn't peek.
She sat him at the table, when all of a sudden the phone rang. She made him promise he wouldn't peek until she got back.
Unfortunately, his gas came back and he couldn't hold it in any longer. Since she was taking so long, he decided to let it go.
He picked up his leg and let it rip. It smelled so bad; he had to get a napkin and fan so she wouldn't smell it.
He wanted to fart again, so he once again picked up his leg, but this time it was so loud and smelly, that it shook the windows and killed the flowers.
After a couple of more farts his wife finally got off the phone, so he stopped.
When she took the blind fold off to his surprise, there were 12 guests seated at the table.

And of course Little Johnny...
A little girl and a little boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey Johnny, wanna play house?"

He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

The girl replied, "I want you to communicate."

He said to her, "That word is too big. I have no idea what it means."

The little girl smirked and said, "Perfect. You can be the husband!"