I edited this to be as clean as possible, if its too dirty please delete.

An old man running an adult toy store turns to a kid he was training telling him he had some errands to run. "If you don't know the price of something just make it up, I'll be back shortly."

Not long after a white girl comes in and asks the price of the white adult toy. Not knowing the kid says ten dollars. She buys it and goes on her way.

In next, a black woman brings up a black adult toy to the counter asking the price. A little more confident the kid tells her twenty dollars. She buys it and leaves.

Then comes in a biker chick, leather vest and all. She looks around a bit then says to the kid "How much for the plaid one?" He thinks a bit and says 30 dollars. She agrees with a nod, gives him the money and rides off.

The old man returns and asks the kid how it went while he was away. "Well, I sold a white one to a white chick for $10, a black one to a black girl for $20, and a biker chick bought your thermos for $30."

Three types of sex during a relationship are: everywhere sex, when you first meet, you have sex everywhere. Next is bedroom sex, after a while sex is confined to the bedroom. Then there is hallway sex, thats when you walk past each other in the hallway and say "F you

A father asked his 13-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know," he said, bursting into tears "Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the "There's no Easter Bunny" speech. At seven, I got the "There's no Tooth Fairy" speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the "There's no Santa" speech. If you're going to tell me that grownups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for.

What do a blond and a trutle both have in common if you flip
them over on their back...
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They are both screwed

She's just like us!!!!!! I love it!!!!!!

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go
to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby> was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card,> and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child
support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey,"she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned very pale, and fainted.
On the card was written:
"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce."

So glad theres no more spaghetti for me!

Had my spaghetti pulled out, knotted, snipped, cauterized, and done away with.