An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this, said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no
money in that account."

"I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about my weekend!"

I'm thinking, find a hot man, take him to the motorcycle dealer of his choice, have him pick the "one" he wants....Thanks Frank for the great idea!

Best ‘Out of Office’ Automatic e-mail Replies


1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Dave.

Garfield sucks, so I Photoshopped that stupid cat out of the strip. The result was an even BETTER comic!! Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let's laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb."

Emu@Oz wrote:
Hey BigBear, are you related to our Bundy Bear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVBiuRp1oiA

Wearing pink certainly works for the bundy bear (B .


All I'm missing is the cool accent. BB

Real men wear pink

A guy and his monkey walk into a bar, and the bartender "asks what'll ya have?" The guy said " i'll have a shot and a beer and the monkey will have a shot." The bartender said "sorry we don't serve animals here." the monkkey got all pissed off and ran up and down the bar knocking every ones drinks over and ran over to the pool table and swallowed the cue ball. The next week the guy and his mokey walk into the same bar, the bartender asked "what'll ya have?" the guy says "i'll have a shot and a beer and the mokey will have a shot." the bartender says "I told you last week, we don't serve animals here!" the monkey was really pissed. He ran up and down the bar knocking everyones drinks over, ran over to the barrel of peanuts at the end of the bar and stuck a peanut up his ass then swallowed it. The bartender asked "why the hell did he do that?" the guy said "after the cue ball incident he measures everything before he eats it."

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY


I'm just passing this thought along .....

Have you ever wondered if the twenty dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's (male or female) butt crack?

If not, you're wondering now.

Have a nice day.

DocShadow wrote:
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY


I'm just passing this thought along .....

Have you ever wondered if the twenty dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's (male or female) butt crack?

If not, you're wondering now.

Have a nice day.


If the thought of that bothers you........please send your contaminated 20.00's my way. BB

cmchenry67 wrote:
Real men wear pink

There you go, that confirms it