I thought I'd start a light-hearted thread. Here's mine to start .....

A new young MD, doing his residency in OB, was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"

She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

Doc

Little Johnny and his friend were outside playing and they noticed men would come up to the house across the street, knock on the door and give a lady 20 dollars go in for 30 minutes and leave. After several men did this Johnny's friend ask what is going on over there. Johnny replied lets find out. Johnny knocks on the door the lady appears and says what do you want???? Johnny reaches in his pocket and hands the lady a nickle, frustrated the lady grabs Johnny by the back of the head raise her skirt and rubs his head all up in her privates.. When she turned lose of Johnny he ran as fast as he could back across the street. Out of breath and in shock Johnny's friend said what in the heck was that.. Johnny stutters and says,, I don't know but I sure don't want 20 dollars worth of that.....

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?






"ACK!"




.<br><br>Post edited by: chunt889, at: 2007/06/19 13:16

This guy goes to Walmart to ask for a job, he speaks to the manager and says I am looking for a job, door greater would be good, manager says ok guess what the next 3 people who walk thru the door are here to buy and you got the job, he says ok no problem..

First guy walks thru the door and he says sir hats on lane 9, the guy says wow how did you know I was here for a hat he says I know it all...

Second person walks in and the guy says sir fishing rods on lane 13, wow how did you know I wanted a fishing rod he says I know it all.. by now the manager is saying wow this guy is going to get the job, ok one more and you got the job he says..

Third person walks in a woman and he says mam feminum napkins on lane 2 she says I am here for preperation H not faminum napkins, the manager says you failed and the guy says by what 1/2 an inch come on....<br><br>Post edited by: Highway1700, at: 2007/06/20 01:59

Ron the rooster was the biggest meanest rooster in the world,he spent all his time beating up all the other animals on the farm.1 day he picked on the farmyard cat,unfortunatly for the rooster,the cat beat the crap out of him which proves:NO MATTER HOW BIG THE COCK IS A PUSSY CAN ALWAYS TAKE IT ON

A big bear is out taking care of business in the woods , when a little bunny hops up and starts doing the same right beside the bear.
As the bear is finishing his business, he looks down at the bunny, and ask: Hey bunny, do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur? The bunny answers &quot;no&quot;. So promptly, the bear picks the bunny up and wipes his rearend with him. (one of my wifes favorites)BB

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, &quot;Keep off the grass.&quot; Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, &quot;Sorry, had to mow the lawn.&quot;

Doc

A Hawaii woodpecker and a California woodpecker were arguing about
which place had the toughest trees. The Hawaiian woodpecker said
Hawaii had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The California
woodpecker accepted his challenge, and promptly pecked a hole in the
tree with no problem. The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.

The California woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a tree in California that was absolutely impeccable (a term woodpeckers like to use). The Hawaiian woodpecker expressed
confidence he could do it, so accepted the challenge.

After flying to California, the Hawaiian woodpecker successfully
pecked the tree with no problem. So the two woodpeckers were now
totally confused. How is it that the California woodpecker was able
to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to
peck the California tree, but neither one was able to peck the tree
in their own state? After much woodpecker-pondering, they both came
to the same conclusion...

Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.

This young man meets a very pretty girl and ask hey you want to go out and get to know me, she says ok but I need to warn you I been shelltered all my life and never had a boyfriend, he says ok no problem...

So that Saturday they go to the movies, while in the movies she hears a noise behind her she looks back and sees a couple having sex she says to the guy hey look, he looks and says to here no biggy they are just having a sandwich, she says ok...

The next week they go to the park and she hears a noise behing the trees she looks and a couple having sex, she says to the guy look again, he looks and say baby they are just having a sandwich, this time she knows it dont sound right but she says nothing...

The fallowing week they go out again to a party, the girl goes to the bathroom but goes in the wrong room and sees a couple having sex, she runs back to the guy and says look again two people, he looks and says baby they are having a sandwich, by now the girl says I know what a sandwich is and thats not one..

The guy says lets go back to my house and have a sandwich, well they go back to his house to have fun (sex) and when done the guy gets up and says well, baby how was your first sandwich?

She says not bad I just wish it had more meat and less mayo......

A young man and a young woman are on the first date. The guy starts to make his move and slides his hand up the girls skirt.

&quot;Oh no&quot; the girl says, &quot;Mother told me to never let a man put his hand up my skirt!&quot;

The guy pulls his hand back. &quot;But&quot; she says, &quot;If you slide it down the back of my dress it will be the second place you come to.....&quot;



A doctor finishes examining a patient and pulls out a perscription pad. He pulls a thermometer out of his pocket and start to write the perscription.

Nurse says &quot;Doctor, you can't write a perscription with a thermometer!&quot; Doc looks down and says &quot; Well some a$$hole has my pen!&quot;